This blog has been following my struggles and adventures with weight loss and body image for quite some time now and I’m happy to say, that while I still haven’t reached the goal I want to be, I don’t have those days where I don’t want to leave the house or even look in the mirror because I feel ugly and fat.

Losing weight isn’t easy, no matter how you do it, but it can happen. It can be done. It’s just not what anybody should be focusing on. Think about it this way — why do you lose weight? So you can look good, right? And you want to look good… why? Chances are it’s because you want to feel good as well.

If that’s the case, then aren’t you doing all of that just to accept your body and like the way you look? Obviously this isn’t always the case and there are exceptions, but what I described above is my guess for a lot of people’s thought process when they want to lose weight.

The thing is, your attention shouldn’t be focused on solely the weight loss part — it should be focused on acceptance of your own body before you go and change it. I’d been feeling pressured to lose weight since I was in fourth grade and when I got older, I always said that the first step to that was accepting the body I had at the moment, before I tried to alter it.

That’s what I’ve always said and that’s what I continue to say. Personally, it took making that video about eating disorders to motivate myself to lose weight — but why? Watching this video and having all these incredible, beautiful girls send clips of themselves saying they were beautiful made me realize; I am, too.

Had I not, I wouldn’t have lost weight and I wouldn’t be where I am today. I’m still not done, but that’s my own personal opinion and decision. I happen to consider myself gorgeous. That’s not being conceited. It’s the result of many months and years of struggling with self-esteem issues and failed diets and I’ve finally gotten to that point where what matters isn’t a number on the scale or the size of my jeans — it’s how I feel about myself.

It’s been a year since I came back from Chile. This time last year, I weighed around 200 pounds. Now? I weigh around 165. So even though most of my weight loss happened in the first half of the year, I’ve still lost a considerable amount of weight and I’m proud of myself for that.

Now that 2012 has begun, maybe I can get back on track with my workouts and keep losing weight to get to a point where I can honestly say I love my body. My self-esteem is much better now that it was last year, which in itself is a huge accomplishment, but I still feel like I haven’t gotten to that point where I could go to the pool in a bikini and not mind.

I’m just glad that I’ve kept myself motivated, maintained my weight and still remember to do it for the right reasons — I don’t feel the need to look at pictures of skinny girls to motivate myself, because my goal isn’t to be skinny. It’s to be happy, comfortable in my own skin, to love myself and my body. 

nysundust:

The most beautiful people in the world sometimes feel like they’re not attractive or worthy of love. We all get that way. Every single one of us. But you need to learn to love yourself. Learn that there is something that makes you special, that makes you beautiful, that makes you, YOU! Being yourself is the most beautiful you could ever be. 

Confucius once said: Learn to respect yourself and others will respect you. 

It takes time, but there is something gorgeous and wonderful about each and everyone of you. Never forget that. Never forget that you are special. There is only one of you in the world. Don’t let that singularity go to waste by having a negative outlook on yourself. Don’t waste your life thinking that you aren’t desirable or worthy of Love. 

Because you are. Every single one of you!

never forget that.